One Degree

You may think that's an odd title for a post, but in fact, those are how many degrees I am from Kevin Bacon. Yep, no lie. I saw him and his brother and his band perform tonight, and to tell you the truth, I love him even more now. Well, it started with me, Father, Sibling and Dayton [my boyfriend;; ^_6] in the top balcony level and we were all seperated because of our tickets. Regardless, we all grouped together on the edge of the balcony where my seat was and waited until the Bacon Brothers and their band came to the stage. When Kevin started to talk he said "and if any of the people in the balcony levels want to move down, make the place seem more filled - you're more than welcome." And as if he had given us $100 dollars cash each, the people in the balcony flooded to the doors.

We, however, were first and got the most primo - free - seats. They weren't free for the people who had to pay $150 for them, but for us - since we were supposed to be in the balcony, we paid nothing. We were invited by Kevin Bacon himself to sit closer. Amazing? I know, and that's just the start. Well, after we got primo seating - we were like...a max of 15 feet away from him - I was told by dear Father to move up to the second row, as a couple of those seats were empty, to get better pictures. So, I took off to the second row[ five feet away from Kevin Bacon!] and got amazing pictures of Kevin Bacon, his brother and his band singing and playing along to amazing songs. AMAZING! So, after I got awesome pictures I moved back to the primo seats with my family and Dayton.

So, all the while Kevin Bacon and his band can see everyone in the crowd, that's just how the lighting and all is set up and the stage and such. So he could see me take pictures in the second row and move back with my posse. Eventually, a song about the woman begins and it's all boppy and I'm dancing in my seat and he's there singing "that girl's an eleven, what's in her iPod to make her hips have that sway" and he's pointing right at me! Eye contact and everything. Mind you, I've already looked around me...the seats were empty. The only girl in his direction was me. It was fantastic! Agh! I'm so excited right now! AH, good times. Good times.

QUote of the Day
Kevin Bacon: I learned that from Bill Nye the Science Guy
Michael Bacon: Now you're just dropping names...
Kevin Bacon: You know, James taylor told me it was wrong to drop names.
-crowd laughter-
Kevin Bacon: No he didn't...It was Marlon Brando.
-harder crowd laughter-
Kevin Bacon: - guilty look - No he didn't...

At that point, I was in the second wrong...can I tell you he had the cutest face when he was like "no he didn't" both times. It was awesome...So awesome.

And now I have a headache..I dunno why, i just do....Great evening for the Jereality...Great!

Have A good One,
-Jereality;;^_6

Blasphemy!

Remember in every one of your school days, everyone said "don't worry, once you're a Senior - everything gets easier." Does anyone recall that? I'm going to burst bubbles here....It's a lie! Life most certainly does not get easier! If anything, it gets harder and more stressful. Once you get acceptd into college (if you get accepted into college) you have to worry about financial aid, and ways to pay for college, whether you're going to commute or live on-campus...how to keep a steady income when in college - because I can almost guarantee that Mommy and Daddy are busy with the bills from paying tuition to give you cash to see a movie.

Though, when you're still in your senior year of high school you'll be worried about the term papers that are due, the assignments that will prepare you for your freshmen year of college. Which, by the way, is kind of helpful in the sense that you're given deadlines in which to accomplish things and if it's not accomplished, you won't be hassled...you'll just get your well-deserved F and be on your not-so-merry way.

If you're not a senior yet, and still a freshmen or sophmore in high school and you've come along to my blog while scouring the internet for answers to math, science, english and hisotry homework, well, I've got some advice for you.

STUDY YOUR HEAD OFF!

Studying, no matter how lame, will boost your GPA thus giving you a greater chance to go to a great college. Also, if your school has openings for a student body government - join! Student Council is a great thing to add to a college resume. Any sort of extra curicular activity...join...Those are just a few tips from me to you. Take heed, my darlings, your future only happens once and your education should not be taken into light account.

Live. Laugh. And be Merry,
-Jereality;;^_6

Better.

After I left the computer last night, I felt a strange calm. I didn't feel happy, I didn't feel sad...I was calm. It was nice...just laying in bed, watching TV, my fan on medium...everything school related finished and set in a pile on my desk. I was very comfortable. And when I fell asleep, I didn't think about anything that would consequently keep me awake, I didn't listen to the sounds the night creates in my house, I didn't think I was asleep only to find out that I was completely awake. I just fell asleep - it was fantastic. I woke up easily, got and sent a few texts...watched some kind of fashion designer show on Bravo...and then I came on line. Got some apple chunks, ate those.

I really like apples.
I like where my life is right now.


Don't worry about me.
I'm fine.
I'm more than fine.
And I'm content.
Perfectly happy with my mental status.





I think it's going to be a good day today.

I'll see you around,
^_6;;Jereality

Something Wrong...

Maybe I'm more broken then I thought I was. I don't know why I'm even telling you this....Free psychiatry, maybe I just need to talk. What should I talk about?

I sleep and wake up exhausted.
I walk around on autopilot during the weekdays.
I sleep until noon sometimes later on weekends.
My assignments seem to be taking a backseat to something I don't even remember doing.
I zone out on most of my day.
I feel like time is crushing me.
It's hard to breathe sometimes.
Like right now.
This zoning out is putting a strain on my relationships.
I'm afraid I'm going too passive.
Too passive, I'll wind up dead.
That's not suicidal.
I promise.
I'm not dark. I'm really not.
I like the dark colors, yeah.
I also like orange.
And light blues.
And bright shocking pink.
And neon green.
I'm very quiet.
Why don't I have anything to talk about?
I used to talk all the time when I was younger.
Why did I stop?
Why did I stop running around outside?
Why did I stop caring if I am liked by other people?
When did I become so apathetic?
Why do I force back tears when someone asks me if i'm 'alright'?

I don't need help. They all say that. Maybe I do need help. Maybe I need someone to save me. From what? What will I be rescued from? Myself? It's cliche`. Am I my own enemy, though?

I'll think on it.

Buncha Nothin'

Alrighty, so, I've really been up to nothing the last couple of days and up to everything at the same time. But that's not what I'm here to talk about this evening.

I'm here to talk about Juice.
And how much I happen to like juice.
However! Some juice isn't 100% juice. Even when it says one hundred percent juice, there is not one hundred percent of the type of juice labeled. For instance, Tangerine juice has like, orange juice, apple juice and like..10% tangerine juice...regardless of how many little orange fruit balls are on the label.

LIES! FRUITY LIES!

Though, Apple juice is bangin'...whatever kind of juice is in there, they done good. I'm pretty sure, though, it's mostly all apples...since it's the easiest to make and such.
Mmm....

Quote of the Day
Sibling: -walks in with container of Apple Juice- I wish apple juice counted as water-
Me:-suddenly- I wish I had apple juice.


I like that she came downstairs, all thirsty, poured herself some apple juice did he comment, and then I did mine...and I got her juice. She gave it to me and went back upstairs - without pouring another cup. All in all, that juice was fantastic.

It's the little things that make me smile...giving me your juice 'cause I asked...well, that's just lovely.
I love my little Sibling...





I also love Apple Juice...

^_6;;Jereality

Turn Up The Radio

And sing a song of...something - I don't remember the words...

But guess what! Father fixed my External Hard drive! You know...the one I complained about in Update Number Three...in the post right below this one....No, right below...scroll down a bit...yeah, that one. Number Three...It's working now, yeah - listening to Dropkick Murpheys at the moment, too. Right from my computer. Yeah. I don't know what was wrong with it exactly...but Father called me up from my downstairs, 'vegge-ing' time and pointed to my computer. Initial reaction: 'What's he doing in my roooOOooom?' If you didn't know, italics means 'in my head'. Second reaction, 'what's that orange thing on my - OH. My. GOD! IT'S BACK!' And then I actually said, 'it's back.' Father sad 'yeah' and pointed to the lap top...said he hooked my E.H.D, my external hard drive, up to the lap top and it - the lap top - said there was some kind of crazy joojoomagumbo on it, and mounted it onto the desktop of the laptop. It was fixed on the lap top, and worked there - fantastic, by the way. So he decided 'hey, let's put this sucker back on Jereality's computer' and SHAZAM! I have my iTunes back. I am absolutely thrilled.

Oh, just in case you were also wondering - I figured out what was so funny from yesterday. A fellow member of the Education Station I go to reminded me. Lovely girl - smart as all get out. [ I never understood that phrase. 'as all get-out'. It just doesn't really make sense if you look at all the words together and give them their meanings in your head. 'Cause if we use intelligence as the example: 'Smart as all get-out' and 'Smart as anything' which also makes little sense. Smart as anything, beautiful as anything. What is this 'anything' in which we speak?! - but I digress]

Anyway, I have a picture to accompany this bit o' humor.



All rightie, do you see that? That is the new Food Pyramid - groups all the god nutritious things together and has a little dude running up some staris - i.e, exercise. So, after much talk abut this new pyramid, most of my fellow Education seekers are asking 'where are those fats and oils? The ice cream and the chocolate and scrumdidliumptious bars? Where are they?'

Our Health Guru man looks at us and says, 'it's there, it's the little yellow line...It's there, but we don't associate with it. They're like terrorists. Oils are terrorists. We don't make deals or mess with the oils or terrorists.'

So, naturally, we all look at each other, shocked, appalled, and slightly amused at this terrible and somehow fitting comparison. I guess you would have to be there...at the time, this was actually very funny.

Also, I pose a question. Look closely at the green 'Vegetables' section. What do you see? Vegetables? Yeah, nice one. But closer, closely at the screen. Close enough to see the pixles...Yeah, outlines of beans. That's what you see. Beans in the Vegetable section. Why, I wonder, are beans in the Vegetable section when there is clearly labeled a 'Meats and Beans' section?

Also, another question. Look closely at the 'Meats and Beans' section. On the right side of the milk, just above the tuna fish and under the pixley egg - Peanut Butter. Last time I checked, peanuts were not meats or beans. They were nuts. They and the beans in Vegetables should switch places...

That would be an accurate drawing of the food pyramid...Did you know it took 'em a year to get this done? It's not even right! Whatever.

Okay, it's time for me to go now...I have some sleeping to do...I'm already ahead of schedule..Got my shower, like, forty minutes ago...I usually get it at ten...it's like, ten twenty right now. So, I've got a lovely time gap to sleep through. Better take advantage of that, otherwise I'll wake up like a zombie with hair like Nick Nolte. Ah well...

Sleep Well,
^_6;;Jereality

It's Been A While...

Alrighty, so many things have happened that I've wanted to blog about. But every time I get a free second, I fall asleep or have to go somewhere in four seconds. There was something so funny I wanted to write up yesterday, and I just can't seem to remember what it was about - that annoys the crap out of me, when I can't remember something to write about. Hysterical, really - you'd all probably chuckle as you went on with your lives...

It was that funny. And I don't remember.

So, now that I don't recall any of that I suppose I will do some Jereality Updates.

Update Number One: I had a birthday. It was fantastic. I went to a restaurant called Brio [Mind you, the site has sound..so turn off whatever music you listen to at the moment when you look at it] and had Pasta Fra Diavlo, which is supposed to be super spicy - it isn't, it is actually quite pleasant on the palate. Anyway, it was good. After that, I came home and opened gifties and such - that was also a good time. I got two shirts, a Maleficant -in dragon form, yes, from Disney's Sleeping Beauty-, some tank tops, and a bitchen camera that I will use frequently.

Update Number Two: I dyed my hair. It's black now - looks wonderful, by the way.

Update Number Three: My External Hard-Drive doesn't seem to be working any more. You know, that one with all of my music on it. Yeah, so now I have to listen to my iPod from my iHome so many feet away...Doesn't really matter though - I still get my music, it's just not as convinient as having it at my fingertips.

Update Number Four: I got accepted into the college I applied to with a splendid scholarship....on my birthday. It really is fantastic - I am so excited. I'm going for Wildlife Conservation...Zoology department. I :heart: Animals. Except penguins...they smell...really, really badly.

Update Five: - insert Important Update Here- This is for the updates that I know I've forgotten. I really hate that I've forgotten funny things..I should really write them down on something when the funny happens. I miss my Quotes of the Day.

Update Number Six: I got a new e-mail address. I feel like I'm really branching out of my 'child-ish' life and forging my own now, and I love that little fact.

Update Number Seven [last one, you guys!]: I went to a car show today - it was amazing. I'm going back some time in the next couple days with Sibling and my camera...to take pictures of some amazing cars...agh, I love vehicles!

And that's it so far...Rather, that's all I can remember. That's really bad - that I can't remember things. Oh well, I'll start writing things down like a banshee when they happen...so I can come home and gossip to you. Don't fret, my lovlies, it will happen...and my posts will be more frequent - like they used to be. I will be back, I promise you this!

^_6;; Jereality

Force Fed And Choking

Isn't that the best title? I like it...Someone should write a song to go with it...Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, The Used, or Senses Fail - they have entertaining song titles....they could use that one.

I just thought of that...It'd be a good title of a book, or a special on Lifetime. -fade in soft, piano music...image of a girl walking down the sidewalk...alone- -calm voice- Jessie has just moved to her new town and despite her foster parents' urging her to make friends, she can't help but wonder : 'what if...' With her lack of friends in the town and her own misunderstood feelings, how will she fair when thrown into [ I don't know...insert your own dilemma for dear Jessie ]... -end commercial with a scream from lovely Jessie followed by piano cords striking a high E, D and B flat as water droplets hit the surface of a lake, each ripple forming the words 'Force Fed And Choking.'

That's wonderful. Ohh..That reminds me, I need to practice my piano. I've got my last lesson Wednesday at ...I don't know what time - I should get on that. It makes me sad that I have to leave my piano teachings - I do enjoy playing ever so much. It is quite the stress releiver. Of course, now that I know what I know, I can teach myself and I'll be fine..and it'll be free...except for the 4 months from now when I'll need to by 6-8 double A batteries at a wooping $4.67 . By then, hopefully, I'll have a real job with a pay check.

I do want a job..I like a steady cash flow of my own. It'll help me prepare for the 'real world'...I've done lost my train of thought. No matter...I've got news. Recall my Hamlet project?

Good news : I got a 92 on it - that's an A-. That's spectacular information for me. Especially since i thought it'd be a low B. I'm pretty sure it was becuase Senior Baron is a friggen genius when it comes to animation and such. If I weren't a paranoid nut, I'd probably find some way to stick the video on youtube and show it to you. But I am - so I won't.

Ah...Well, it's time for my incoherant ramblings to get a shower and go to bed....How I do love sleep...

Have A Good One,
^_6;; Jereality

BIRTHDAY!

Alrighty, so that last post is less than optimistic and I would apologize for it - but I won't, because this is for me...this is my blog and I need to get soem feelings from my mind by sharing my thoughts and or feelings/emotions with the keys on my keyboard, and the screen of my computer....

Anyway, my birthday is coming up. In fact, if you aren't a wackjob and feel that it is in fact the next day at midnight. I happen to be one of those people. Anyway...my birthday is on the fourteenth and I am so excited because I got acceptance from where I have wanted to go for quite some time. One of my favorite birthday gifts thus far. That, and a CD I got from Onyx with a whole bunch of songs that commemorate our awesomness.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that i'm still around and such...


Quote of the Day...Evening
Me: - puts new birthday hat on backwards-
Onyx: You look like a cupcake!

Good times...

Too Much

The past few days have been hectic as myself and four other friends of mine have been trying to recreate Hamlet. It went well in the beginning - I wrote the script Sunday night, and it all turned out well when everyone read their lines correctly on Monday. Tuesday, no one could do anything, so I finished up the last scene of the lat act and printed out a couple copies. Today, we filmed a little more...actually, we filmed pretty much the rest of the play. However, despite what I wrote for the cript, we have now changed how the people die from a sword thwap to a guitar wack. That's not how I wrote it, that's not how it is stated we'd kill people earlier in the filming process. You can't change things that have already been filmed.

Why was there any need to re-write my script as we were filming? There really wasn't...it was abridged as it was...The entire of Act five needs to be re-shot in my opinion. Nothing works for me, and I feel if we are to get points taken off, that's the scene for it. We cant''t start out strong and then end with a lame ending. Not to mention, we skipped around in the script and pages were strewn across my home. So, not only can we not find the pages we need, we don't even know if we did a particualr scene yet. I'm sure we forget something. In fact, I have no doubts we forgot something. I'm going to have to talk to my group members tomorrow - see if we can reshoot tomorrow. The entire thing is due on Friday, no excuses.

I just...I can't handle things not going how I need them to go for this project. In fact, I've felt this way for a very long time. Every so often, I catch myself thinking about my friends and how dear they are to me, and then my brain switches to their habits...some of which I find annoying, but they're my friends, and I love them the way they are. But my mind likes to intesify things, so I go through my days questioning who I am friends with. Then I move on to myself, and how no one really knows me...

I was asked the other day in my English class in the 'hot seat' where a question is asked, and you have to answer...It's supposed to help with public speaking. I don't know - I don't care, I got it over with.

I picked number two.

My question was if I could pick any word to describe me, what would it be. I instantly thought 'act', but spent a few moments trying to find a less harmful word, a word that would make me feel less vulnerable...Then I thought that that would end up being an act, so it was appropriate. I said how I was very good at being a different person around certain people. What I meant by that, is that no one knows the real me. The honest me. I know the honest me, and she is a wreck. Completely unstable, supported only by the pillars of the fronts she puts up. I listen, I watch, I observe...I feel. I get frustrated. I feel like I'm watching my life through a television...I've seen the same thing over and over again...felt the same things over and over again...thought about accidently sliding a pair of scissors across my skin...leaping in front of a train....finding a garage and leaving the car on.

I hate those thoughts. I don't like to talk about them. It hurts. It scares me. I don't like feeling so open, I don't like sharing how I really feel. I don't like people knowing who I am, so I put up fronts that they can understand.

I say I don't cry often...that used to be true. But now it seems that every single time I think about something, everything in my mind gets blown out of proportion and my mind wanders to so many different planes that my emotional state just can't handle it. Through that, my physical being releases that stress, frustration and tension in the only way it knows possible...its cries. And I'm not talking about the cry, where a few tears leak, I'm talking about the body wracking, throat pounding cry. The cry's you take in the shower so no one can differentiate between tears and shower-water...the cry's when you wait until everyone else is asleep...making sure only you can hear yourself as you pathetically drift into sleep.

I get frustrated with myself, and I cry. And the worst part is, I never feel any better...because I try to bottle it up. I've been bottling my emotions since I was five years old. That is way too many years of choked emotion to escape with a few cry's. some days I wonder if its even worth it...just to even get out of bed. I know people would miss me, but they'd eventually get over it, and live would go on..and I'd be forgotten...just a blip on the map of existance. In and out in a flash. No worries. For me, at least.

I can't say anything else...my mind is telling me it's not safe - that's what it does when I'm getting too close to the truth. It screams 'retreat'. So, that's what I do. That's what I'm going to do...Whatever.

But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue. -Hamlet

^_6;;Jereality

So Close...

At the current moment, I'm watching Dane Cook: Visious Circle and it's pretty funny. Talking about dead people now, and now it's something totally different because I stopped to watch instead of type to you guys.

I realize that I have been very bored for the past several days - after Christmas, whitch I will tell you about - and I figured out that all I really wanted to do was blog. That's why I was feeling kind of bored and lonely, I wanted to blog. I needed to type something, so that was it. I'm here now, typing.

Christmas:
Alrighty, every year on christmas day, Sibling and I sit on the top of the stairs and Mother takes a picture and then we go and open gifties and things. It's good times, really, it is. So, we took our picture and then we went downstairs and opened our gifts.
I got a whole bunch of things, and they are fantastic. I got the Dane Cook DVDs that I'm watching right now, a hat from sibling with '^_6' on it - she got it custom made, good times. A bunch of shirts and a pair of jeans and a nifty robe which has come in very handy over the past three days - which I will later describe. I also got Cinderella, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1, 2, and 3, Fern Gully, Transformers, um...mini magnets from Father, some crazy pen from GGR, and a pair of fantastic BOSE headphones from Father...I love them. They're so loud - amazing. And a whole buncha other things. Ah, good times.
And then we did the bonding with the family, and it was good times. I loved the good times. Sibling got a camera she loves, Father got a new bed which he loves, and Mother got everything she wanted - which, in case you haven't been already told, never happens. I love when they get happy - my family, I like it.

December 26th, I rest. I play with my Christmas gift. I watch TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and bonded with Father, it was good times.

December 27th, 12:15pm - Dentist's Office
I got my Wisdom Teeth removed.
Number one thing I want to tell you - dentist helper man, 'Nick', he was lovely to look at. Anyway, I was on the movey chair thing and it was time for me to be placed under local anestetics - not 'put under', that's just silly. So, he rams the needle in my gums and that hurts a bit, but I'm fine. Dentist Man (DM for short) says "Do you feel pain?" I look at him, a sarcastic shift in my brows as he withdraws the two and a half inch needle from my gum and I say "Uh...no." He says good and we get on our merry way.
First Tooth - top right, out without my knowledge. He pulled it out and said "Three Wisdom teeth to go." I blinked, "really?" "yeah." Blinks, Shifty Eyes. "Can-I-See-It?" He shows me the tooth. It's red. B-E-A-Utiful. One piece.
Second Tooth - top left, a little bit of pokin' on my gum but I didn't really feel anything. "Two wisdom teeth to go." Fantastic. I didn't even need to ask to see that one and he showed me. One piece. Lovely.
Third Tooth - lower left. Lots of poking on my gum. And then the drill. He jammed that sucker in around and through my tooth, that hurt so badly! So, naturally, my eyes tear up. No biggie - however, with the application of gravity and my vertical lay down position, said 'tear-up' became a tear fall. Just one. DM looks at me and says, "don't cry...do you feel pain?" I say nothing, and then I do that 'no' grunt, as he still has a mirror and a gummy thing between the opposite set of jaws - not comfy, by the way.
So, DM continues and drills and scrapes at my tooth until finally it comes out in four chunks of enamel. Lovely.
Fourth and Final Tooth - lower right. Oh. My. God. Remember, remember when I had that little tear-jerker thing up there, up in those words you just read? Recall? Well, this tooth got six of those teras. SIX! OUCH! Dear ol' DM asked if I was in pain five times. First time I said 'uh uh, no' second, third, fourth and fifth I said yes. Oh, goodness gracious. He used that needle I talked about before first tooth four times. And still, after all that numbing crap, I still felt pain.
I wanted so badly to just grab the little twisty screwdriver type tool he was useing to break apart my last wisdom tooth, and just break it off myself.
It was frustrating, really, and the woman who was so lovingly shoving the mirror down my throat was a big help, too. She choked me three times, for the record. Ah, it was a painful day. eventually, DM ended up scraping out my tooth in many pieces, chunks and otherwise bloody hunks of enamel.
Not pretty to see, mind you. And I did. I did see it. Because I was awake. I justl ike to state that. I don't know why...maybe because everyone else I know was 'put under' for their lovely tooth extractions. Whatever...

December 28th,
I woke up at 4 pm. Good stuff.
Yesterday...
I woke up at noon-ish...I did some other things...really, I did nothing.
Today, woke up at ten-ish...
I watched TV.

The past three days, I've worn PJ pants, a cami and my fantabulous robe. Good stuff.

Face Swollen. Medicated. Nauseous. Tired.

I'm gonna go to bed now...ugh, I feel horrible.

Nighty night.

I Meant To...Dreams..And A Newsflash

Hey guys, sorry about the wait - I meant to post, I've just been either preoccupado, or I've forgotten. That means I've neglected you, meaning I'm a terrible Blog Mother, and I apologize for that. However, this time it wasn't for several months, merely a few weeks....or days, I'm not really sure, I haven't counted yet....Yet.

There were several humerous and slightly amusing things I've wanted to tell you and a few other things, all of which I've forgotten. So, I'll start off with a dream and then a breif retelling and realization of my day. Gather 'round the internet fire, grab your cyber hot chocolate and grab a blanket - this might be a doozy.

The Dream:

Okay, so I've been having these strange dreams lately...On Wednesday night I had a dream in which my Grandmother died - but it wasn't really my Grandmother, it was a fictional woman who my brain made up and configured to fit the role of grandmother in my 'dream life'. So, my G-Mom died, and I was very sad, and a friend of mine ( one who recently took me to Winter Ball - I'll call him...Hamlet ) was consoling me when a group of kids went and walked all over her grave. Well, naturally, I said I would kick them all in the throat if they didn't stop. They didn't stop. So, I climbed over the wooden fence I was behind and my AP Biology teacher comes up out of no where and says "Jereality, don't do anything you'll regret later. Remember, I'll have to report you..." So, Hamlet takes my hand and the dream me feels much better, and we go for a walk and I get all calm and stuff. He takes me to some barn loft somewhere and we watched the sun rise together. It was nice, I woke up feeling really good about the day.

Then I had another odd one last night, Thursday night....
It started out with me in a Ninja academy, where I made a whole bunch of Ninja friends yet learned nothing of defending myself. For some strange reason, I had to leave the training school and go home to live with my Grandmother (the one I've actually got, looked just like her) and all of my Ninja friends promised to protect me.
So, I go live with my G-Mom where I find out that my cousin and Pop-pop on my Mother's side are living with my Grandmother.(Note* Mind you, the Grandmother I'm talking about is GGR, the one that literally lives 1/4 of a mile away from me and is on my Father's side. ) So, Pop-pop and my cousin, I'm going to call him Horatio, have a long conversation with me about how GGR is going away for a little bit, and that I can still live in the house if I do the dishes. I agree, since I almost always do the dishes and I am so used to it.
I live like that for a couple months, until finally Pop-pop and Horatio get a letter that I can't read because it's in 'scribble text'. I get all confused, night falls outside and all of a sudden Pop-pop and Horatio have glazed looks in their eyes. My eyes get wide, I get scared and run through the house trying to escape my 60-something year old Grandfather, and my 19-or-so year old cousin - both chasing me with daggers.
I somehow end up locking myself in one of the bedrooms (the one that happens to be right above the kitchen, where a bay window has just been installed) and try to formulate a plan. Horatio and Pop-pop grow silent as they try to figure out how to kill me, finally deciding getting a larger arsenal being the best idea. While they are doing that, I am opening the window and deciding how much pain I'd be in if I just jumped out.
All of a sudden, I remember that I was in a Ninja school, so, I grab the ledge of the window and flip out of it. So now, I'm dangling out of a second-story window, my feet just visible from the top of the bay window Horatio is staring out of. I hear him shout, so I drop from the window, and run to the fence that surrounds GGR's house. I leap the fence just as Pop-pop and Horatio come out of the housee (which is not encircled by fence) and chase me.
Then, I see my Ninja Trainer, standing all calm in the middle of the street. No cars are coming, it's late at night...so nothing is happening outside for him to be there, yet, there he is. He says to me, very calmly, 'what did you learn?' I turn to face him just as Pop-pop crumples to the ground, a dart in his arm. I can't think of what I've learned, so I continue to run away from Horatio. He throws his dagger at my spine - right between my shoulder blades - but it doesn't pierce the skin, it just kind of pokes my back. And then I remember, my Ninja friends promised to protect me. So, I say it 'that a ninja always keeps their promise.' I turn around and look up to a set of telephone wires and see the form of a Ninja, squating on the wires, a dart gun glinting in his hands.
Then I woke up all pissed off because my trainer was about to say something when my alarm went off.
But it was crazy, my cousin and granfather about to kill me - I was terrified...
I hope I have another 'strange' dream....I really enjoy how vivid they are.

And now, onto my realization - I don't tell my parental units when Sibling does something wrong because Sibling has a very low self esteem. She can't build up her character enough to gain self-esteem because she doesn't get in trouble for things. When she does get in trouble, she gets depressed. I don't 'tattle' on her because I don't want her depressed. If I don't tattle on her, she stays happy and also loses a chance to become a more well-rounded individual. She lies because she thinks she can get away with it. She can't when I'm around. Then she gets into trouble. She gets into trouble, blames me, gets depressed. I get depressed because I feel guilty, and then no one wins. Except I'll get over it, I'm already well-rounded. I don't lie every time I open my mouth. I tell my parental units almost everything that it related to my education, whether it be 'oh, i've just received a lateness' or 'i've got a D in History' or 'I just passed a math test with an 11/10.'

-sigh-

And I watch my life like its a Television show...Except I can't change the channel, and it's all a rerun. Same episode, different day. Waste of my time. I listen to the same arguements ove rdifferent things, all ending up with she argued with me because she thinks she's always right. She's not always right, she's just irrational. And yes, it pisses you off, I know that. Did you ever stop to think, though, that it pisses me off, that it gets me slightly irritated that whenever you two argue I'm always there and can't get away?
You always find a way to argue in situations where I can't leave. The mall. The car ride home. The car ride away. I can't run from that. I want to. I could probably end the conversations if you two would just let me argue for you. I'll help you out.

You think you're right. And you think you're right. You're both wrong. End of story. Both have valid points, both and having the same argument. Everyone loses.

Especially me. I lose twice, whenever you argue. Six more months.

That's horrible to say - but that is how I feel right now.

Thanks for listening, readers...I didn't mean for all of that monologue/dialogue/trialogue to be there..it just sort of happened.

^_6;;Happy Hoildays,
Jereality

Nothin' Much...

ALright guys, I've had this one quote I've been wanting to use so very badly ever since I thought of it.

I'm a writer and a role player - so I make up these people and write out their lives. It's tons of fun and takes away my boredom. Anyway, I've got this one story called 'Escape' and the two main characters Coh and John are going to get kidnapped... well, Coh is from a tribe of nomad people who live in the desert called 'Cascuns'. It jus so happened they are going to 'napped' by the Cascun's rival, the Duntaks. The main Duntak's name is Jak...and at some point in the story, John is going to be complaining to Coh about how he is 'dying of thirst' and Jak will corner John and just say 'don't tease me' all serious like. I'm so excited to write that, 'cause it'd be the second time John would have been cut off, speechless.

I'm so excited...when I finish it, and get it published, I'll send everyone who keeps in contact the nearest bookstore address so you can go and buy it...Yep, it'll be fantastic...

EXCITEMENT!

-So, Good bye Courage...what's the harm
If I was slightly...naughty
With love, (Courage the Cowardly Dog - Freaky Fred)
-Jereality;; ^_6

SHAZAM!

I'm almost positive I had a post enitled Shazam before...It's just so easy to use....It's like, oh it must be interesting, it's such an interesting, eventful word.. SHAZAM!

Anyway, I just want to let you all know that it is aweful windy outside...So much to the point that I feel as though I may be swooped out of my room and transported to the O.Z. Do you all know what that means to me? Well, it is a Mini Series on the Sci-Fi network called Tin-Man. It's pretty awesome. I won't tell you about it because I want you all to watch it.

Now, I'm watching Heroes - fyi, it's intense. I thought it was so stupid in the beginning, which is why I didn't watch the entire first season. I accidently watched the first episode of the second season and wham! I was hooked...Of course, it took me a couple mintues and weeks to remember who was who...but I got it, and am in love with Peter, Adam and Suresh. I don't really know who they are...but they are lovely to stare at.

I had something else to say to you all, but I don't recall...

'What-ev'

^_6;;Jereality

Wups...

It seems to me that November was a bit of a barren month. I didn't mean to not post on purpose. Everytime I wanted to, I forgot what I had been doing or got distracted or something. I don't even remember - which is not good if I am going to tell you what I've been up to.

Nothing 'big' has really happened - I got a new fish, his name is Keiran. He's a crowned Betta fish, and he is so cool looking! Of course, his tank is a little nasty, but hey, it'll get cleaned. Um, what has happened otherwise...I don't really know...

I've been playing a particular card game for the past week and a half like it was going out of style...and I desperately want to hold a tournament for said game. Perhaps I'll teach you all how to play one of these days...Perhaps.

I went to Maryland this weekend...my cousin got married, it was a lovely wedding, very small. I took some nice pictures which, due to paranoia, I will not post. However, I've got some nice pictures of things other than the wedding for you to view when I upload them. LIke, I have this one of the sun and some trees that blurred so slightly...it looks like the trees are on fire -it's amazing.

Well, I'm just letting you all know that I'm still alive, and regretting let you all go unposted for an entire month...very upsetting that is to me...Yep...

Oh, in case you've noticed the change in layout - I was told the one I had before was painful...ya'll should've told me earlier...I would've picked a new one sooner. Regardless, I like this one infinitely better than that red and grey one...good stuff...So, I'll talk at you all later...I've got a brownie that needs eating.

^_6;; Jereality

Dead.

Jace died. Sometime around 9:30...pm. This night. He had been acting strange for the past couple days, and his color sort of drained. I found him face down in the rocks by the bottom of the bowl. I just cleaned it, too...I had cleaned it earlier in the week, but it began to smell like death again, so I cleaned it...I guess I know why it smelled...Jace was dying.



8/5/07-10/27/07
R.I.P Jace - you really were a cool fish. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep you alive any longer. Though, I did think it was very strange that you'd be staring at me every single time I woke up, I did like you.

Sibling walked in a couple minutes ago...talking about what we should do with his little fish body. I said I didn't know...he was just a fish...she said to put him in a box, that it'd be cute. Said if it had a name, it was part of the family. So I said, when family dies, you put them in boxes. Then she said 'or blankets'.

We buried my first cat, Jake, in a towel. I told her she should leave. I miss Jake so much...that was a low blow, even for her. Now I'm just sitting here, in my room with a dead fish across from me...thinking about how much I miss Jake, and how amazing he was. If he were here now, he'd be right by my side. He would always - if someone wass upset and crying - be right there next to them...just to give them company. He'd stay right in front of the bookcase that was across from my bed, waiting until I fell asleep before he left, prancing in as soon as I got out of bed the next morning.

Greta is going to die soon, I think. She's got too much spirit to die though. She still acts like she's a puppy...she still wants to run, but she can't because her back legs won't work. She can't see because one eye is blind because of the glaucoma. All she can do is lay in her own pee-soaked bed 'cause she can't control her bladder anymore. She's not going to die by herself, though, not for a long time. Keeping her alive is wrong, she can't really live stuck in her bed. But I don't want to lose her either. And she loves us so much, her personality just brightens whenever one of the family is in the room with her. And I can just imagine walking into the vets office to put her down, her just thinking it's another routine thing, 'oh, look, there's my family...' and then the needle, and then she's gone. Betrayed by the people she loves the most. Then I think if she was going to die at home, in her bed...how it'll be most likely that no one will be with her when she goes. She'll be all alone...then she'll be gone...and I won't have her anymore.

I'm gonna go now...get a shower or something....I need to calm down...

Take nothing for granted, life is only so long
-Jereality

Biology Lesson...

Today we tested genetics...genotypes and the like....through five generations....It was lots of fun. We bred note card letters throughout the classroom. I was heterozygous four times and homozygous recessive three times. Bundles o' fun.

Quote of the Day
Edward: Who did you get stuck breeding with?
Me: Everyone but two girls...
Edward: Dude, you'll never guess who i bred with.....
Jello and Bigwepz
Me: O_O
Edward: Pudding even did a finger shoot at me
like the whole "i'm a charming dude, mate with me"

Ah, good times...goood tiiimes

Heterozygous orr Homozygous?
-Jereality;;^_6

Cinderellie, Cinderellie...

Ah, yeah. Very busy day today...yesterday? Saturday....I woke up at 5:30, and left the house by 6:30 to go to Bankroft Neurohealth for Bankcroft Day. It was Victorian themed, so i wore a black shirt an pair of jeans, black chucks and a pair of victorian-esque fingerless gloves. Ta Da. Anyway, when I got there, one of Father's collegues says to me 'I have an extra 'Victorian-ish' white nightshirt if any of you (Sibling was there also) want to wear it.' Naturally, Sibling declined, but hey, I wasn''t about to pass up dressing up. I love that kinda stuff. So, I slipped the shirt over my head and moved the elasticed sleeves to the center of my forearm, leaving about three inches before my black gloves sarted up. Sibling turned to look at me and want 'you look like an evil baby doll'. I smiled, and looked in a mirror...she wasn't wrong.

After an hour and a half of setting up tables and chairs and tent things, and food equpiment, I stood on my feet for four-five hours scooping out macaroni salad, tossing bags of carrots and adding cookies to hot dog, 'kraut dog, hamburger, or cheeseburger platters. It was fun though, I like Bancroft day.

Then, we, Father, Sibling and I went home where I slept off a spilliting headache for two hours before going off to babysit. I just got back not twenty minutes ago....um, like..2:10 am. It was fun though..I played hungry hungry hippos. I was Henry - he's green, and I won...five out of the seven times we played. Goooood tiiimmmeesss.

And now I am sleepy...So, I'm going to say good night.

Good night,
-Jereality;; ^_6

...May Be Crazy...

I just finished a book called Back Roads, by Tawni O'Dell. My silly brain made me connect with the characters sometimes. Certain times when the protagonist visitis his mother in jail, I teared up a little...Probably because I had a horrible conversation with my own Mother before she left for work. My stress levels can't really handle certain phrases strung together with certain tones of voice. Talking about my future as if it was nothing...I did nothing to provoke her...didn't stop her from making me feel hollow and inhuman. Subhuman. Inadequate. Worthless. I could go on, but I'm sure you all get the point by now.

So, I decided to read for five hours straight, leaving my room for nothing and getting off the bed only to let the cat out of my room. I felt most sorry for the main character's dog, though. Maybe it's empathy...maybe sympathy guilt...or some kind of twisted reality where its all my fault this kid's fictional life is screwed up. Yeah...I'm going to have one helluva time figuring out a thesis for this one.

Tip: Don't Listien To 'Untitled' By Simple Plan When You Feel Like Shit...It Does Nothing,
-Jereality

What Is...

Life?
Existence?
Love?
Reality?

Does anyone have any ideas? Any at all?

We have these discussions in the Education Station where I do my schooling...we go into Socratic circles and discuss these questions that the philosophers pondered over. Today's question was 'Does history exist', to which several people answered 'yes' to, other, like Onyx, said 'no,' and something to the effect of 'no, because it's not a complete history. There are some civilizations that have existed that we don't even know about.' I thought that was an amazing answer, one, that apparantly, evaded me as I answered the question with a simple, 'we only have 'the winners' point of view. The loser is conquered, gone, no more...' Which, now that I think about it, makes much less sense then it did while I was there.

Then there was another question, what have you invented in your reality. Well, first, I discussed my own reality, 'Jereality' - as it is my name, combined with 'reality', very clever, I know. I finally got it out there that I like to watch fights...some...most of which I've instigated and backed away from. That is a terrible character flaw. I should work on that. I'm pretty sure I'm going to work on becoming a better person. Try not to be as sarcastic as I am, hurtful...things like that. Though, it's going to be very difficult because I'm almost positive sarcasm is a defense mechanism of mine. Sorry, this post started good, and ended with me feeling lousy. That kinda sucks for me, doesn't it? Yeah. It does. I'm a terrible person. I'll work on it...

May You Be The Change You Wish To See In The World - Ghandi,
^_6;;Jereality