Better.

After I left the computer last night, I felt a strange calm. I didn't feel happy, I didn't feel sad...I was calm. It was nice...just laying in bed, watching TV, my fan on medium...everything school related finished and set in a pile on my desk. I was very comfortable. And when I fell asleep, I didn't think about anything that would consequently keep me awake, I didn't listen to the sounds the night creates in my house, I didn't think I was asleep only to find out that I was completely awake. I just fell asleep - it was fantastic. I woke up easily, got and sent a few texts...watched some kind of fashion designer show on Bravo...and then I came on line. Got some apple chunks, ate those.

I really like apples.
I like where my life is right now.


Don't worry about me.
I'm fine.
I'm more than fine.
And I'm content.
Perfectly happy with my mental status.





I think it's going to be a good day today.

I'll see you around,
^_6;;Jereality

Something Wrong...

Maybe I'm more broken then I thought I was. I don't know why I'm even telling you this....Free psychiatry, maybe I just need to talk. What should I talk about?

I sleep and wake up exhausted.
I walk around on autopilot during the weekdays.
I sleep until noon sometimes later on weekends.
My assignments seem to be taking a backseat to something I don't even remember doing.
I zone out on most of my day.
I feel like time is crushing me.
It's hard to breathe sometimes.
Like right now.
This zoning out is putting a strain on my relationships.
I'm afraid I'm going too passive.
Too passive, I'll wind up dead.
That's not suicidal.
I promise.
I'm not dark. I'm really not.
I like the dark colors, yeah.
I also like orange.
And light blues.
And bright shocking pink.
And neon green.
I'm very quiet.
Why don't I have anything to talk about?
I used to talk all the time when I was younger.
Why did I stop?
Why did I stop running around outside?
Why did I stop caring if I am liked by other people?
When did I become so apathetic?
Why do I force back tears when someone asks me if i'm 'alright'?

I don't need help. They all say that. Maybe I do need help. Maybe I need someone to save me. From what? What will I be rescued from? Myself? It's cliche`. Am I my own enemy, though?

I'll think on it.