Hugs and Kisses

This is a pretty pessimistic post... So, if you're in a great mood... don't read it if you don't want your mood to drop... and if you're already in a crap-mood... well, I don't think you're going to be happier... Here goes...

Love is an over used word.

You can love a person, true enough, you can love a pet also... you can also love Stacy's new bag, or Jack's new ride. Also, the weather, that cake you had at the restaurant your family loves, and what your hair is currently deciding it wants to do.

Do you really love these things? Probably not, you just really like them... though, for lack of a better word, you love them. It used to be that you would only say that you loved a person.... and even then, you said it and you meant it.

As I think about the people in my house, there are four who live there currently, I say 'i love you' to two of them. And it's true, I love my parents. It doesn't, mean, however, that I don't love my sister. I just don't say the words. I don't know why, I think I used to, but I don't anymore... And my friend, Sir, who lives at my house says he loves me - I think it's the love best friends have, that he reminds me he has for me, if it's not, I'm oblivious... but my response to him nine out of ten times is 'I know', the other percentage is online, where I just respond with a smiley face. I friend-love him, too, but I don't say it....

Why? Because I think the word has been cheapened over the years...

And as the months get colder, and I hear the word love thrown around, all I can think about is how I am alone. How I have all kinds of family-love and friend-love to go around, but when I wake up at four:fifty-seven, that sentiment from home won't wrap it's arms around me and ask me if I'm okay and continue to keep me warm at night.

I just want to be held, I think, and to have my own guy to say 'i love you' to... that's it...